Why does it feel better to hold on to angry feelings? It’s kind of like scratching a mosquito bite. You KNOW its not going to do any good and you KNOW it will just make it worse. But it’s also SO SO satisfying in the moment.
I love that little critter book- because that is what I want to do sometimes, stomp my foot, make a face JUST like that and say “I’m just so mad!” In fact I think I looked like this too last night….
This morning I really don’t feel like getting over it. I know I will, and so in some ways I am wondering why it’s hard to just move past it. I think it’s because I want a certain kind of closure, for someone to tell me how right I am…. 😉 But that’s not how life is, every situation is not mine to direct and every relationship has two people.
I know I will get over it, because it’s not the first time. That is MY struggle, I tend to let things fester. I know for Jonathan, that kind of stuff is not hard for him. He rarely lets things bother him which is a way better attitude to have! But I am not wired that way and so I realize that I have to choose every time, in whatever situation, if I am going to be hurt, offended, mad or whatever. I love this quote and I wholeheartedly believe it’s true.
“When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” Source (I love the whole talk!)
So if I believe it why is it hard? Especially when it concerns those I love most? I know that the temporary satisfaction of holding on to those feelings is misleading. I feel so much better after a prayer to ask for help to soften my heart, or a conversation where I am honest about why I feel bad, not about what the other person did or didn’t do. (Or even write about it so I see how silly it is.) I also know my best and favorite relationships are the ones I work the hardest at.
Sigh. Ok better get to it!
(I sound like a very offensible person in this- I’m really not- I was just so mad 😉 )