Jonathans co-worker mentioned that sometimes my blog makes it sound like I feel like life is really hard. Hmmmm. Could it be because some of my posts are titled “Boo Hoo”, “Had a bad day”, “Jealous” or “Honey I crashed the car” ? Maybe! 🙂
If I really wanted to sound sad I should add a few more like “Christmas in the ICU”
or from the following year “How to give CPR to your 2 month old.”
But even as I write the titles to seemingly not so nice days, I know that now they just bring reminders of blessings and little sweet things that happened.
Like how the kids all wanted to wait for Ben to be home that Christmas to open their presents because they didn’t want him to miss it. They opened them on the 29th :).
Or how Jack just happened to be looking at Ty when he couldn’t breath (look how little Jack was!) and was able to tell us in time to be able to do CPR.
Jonathan’s friend wasn’t being negative- just making a comment, but it made me think about it. I want to record what our life is like as we go through it and I don’t need to pretend to myself (or others) that life is EASY. Life is SO good, life is hard, our life is full- I can say joyful. And I want to remember. Sometimes I look back at photos of all that was going on when the boys were little, and so much more demanding medically and I think “oh yah! I forgot life was like that!” and it helps me keep perspective now. (But it also makes me miss sweet little faces and bodies!)
Last week I came across this photo of 3 year old Ben and his walker….
and then someone posted this photo on my facebook page.
How far we have come!!
But even if Ben was still in a walker I am pretty sure he would be bringing us just as much joy. (After church on Sunday I was waiting for him to step down off the curb to get in the car- he was bouncing up and down and I asked if he was getting ready to jump off the curb? “No mom, I’m just doing a dance.”)
I think life is crazy- I think it’s not meant to be easy but sometimes I’d like it to be. I also wish I handled it better but I am so grateful for the hope and faith I have that gets me through it and keeps me seeing the Tender Mercies I am surrounded by.
“From our sorrow we might seek out the sweetness and the good that is often associated with and peculiar to our challenge. We can seek out those memorable moments that are frequently hidden by the pain. We can find peace in extending ourselves to others, using our own experiences to provide hope and comfort. And we can always remember with great solemnity and gratitude Him who suffered most to make it all right for us. And by so doing we can be strengthened to bear our burdens in peace. And then, the ‘works of God’ might be manifest.”
The entire discourse is found HERE